Life Brew
It would appear as though the week drones on, mindlessly pushing one long day into another. The process is then repeated until you suddenly realize that you don’t know what day of the week it is or how long it’s been Monday. The only consolation you get is when that sudden realization that it’s Friday kicks in. This last all of thirty seconds until a gracious co-worker reminds you that it is indeed not Friday, but rather Thursday. Welcome to Big Kid Land! Damn those advertisements were deceiving.
This has been my routine for the past few weeks, and I’m not really sure I like it at all. It has become such that Tuesday night drinking has become a regular occurrence. Before you judge I think you should have all of the facts. First, my job can be stressful as Hell. I’ve never actually been to Hell, but I’ve seen how it stresses some people out way too much here on Earth so I assumed it was a safe comparison. Second, my job has some sort of complicated financial formula where they make sure you get paid just enough to stay below the poverty line. I don’t even try to understand it, as math was never my best subject, but I do understand banks saying you have no money. Last week I managed to get my checking account down to nine cents. That takes talent. And lastly, although in this case most importantly, Tiballs (a local bar) has a $7 all you can drink special. Even I can see the cost efficiency of being an alcoholic on a Tuesday. I mean if I drank the same amount of orange juice as I did alcohol on a Tuesday night, my costs would astronomically increase. BUT, to be even more cost efficient, you get Tequila Sunrises. Orange juice and Tequila! What a deal! Best of both worlds for one flat rate. Ok, now you are free to judge if you are still inclined to do so as opposed to joining me at the bar.
The bar is a very interesting place. You see a lot of different kinds of people, and most people would consider it a chance to work on their game. I find this very amusing to watch as I myself have negative game. It’s odd though. I do believe that sometimes having game below zero works just as well as having game, but what do I know? I’ve already told you I am no good at math, and here I am talking about the absolute value of “x” if “x=game”. Perhaps there isn’t an exact formula to picking people up at the bars…but really who are we trying to kid?
Speaking of game. Fenix, my cat, has learned to spit some mad game, no pun intended as you will soon find. Just the other night, I was laying in my bed minding my own business when across the hall I hear “Oh my God!” Apparently Crystal and my cat french kissed each other. I thought there were laws against that sort of thing, but who am I to say what’s right. The heart wants what the heart wants I guess. It just makes me feel odd when I walk into the living and see them sitting together now. She swears he kissed her and that she never kissed him back. I’m sure she’ll share her side of the story at some point.
I leave you with this.
“The whole world is about three drinks behind.”
